10 quotes that prove Niko Bellic is the funniest protagonist
For decades (but especially in the early 2000s), the Grand Theft Auto The series has sparked debate regarding its violence, its immoral protagonists, and the potential effects it could have on any child who gets into the game. Unsurprisingly, the protagonists of Grand Theft Auto are not very nice people. In fact, most of them are downright horrible, as seen with Trevor in Grand Theft Auto V.
Niko Bellic, on the other hand, from Grand Theft Auto IV, is by far the friendliest and most sympathetic protagonist. He may also be the funniest.
8 “I suck at life, but I stall like an angel.”
Niko Bellic doesn’t have a good life, but at least he knows it. Grand Theft Auto IV was full of mini-games, and one of them involved picking up friends and going bowling. Provided the player does well, Niko will confidently say: “I suck at life, but I play like an angel.”
It’s a very funny quote (especially when it comes to Niko’s low self-esteem), but also quite cute. There is just something inherently charming about a sad sack with low self-esteem and proud of its bowling skills.
7 “Maybe if being a drunk doesn’t work, you can be a comedian.”
Niko is kind enough to those who are nice to him, but there’s no denying that he has a sarcastic side. This personality trait certainly turns its head around the popular drunk Patrick McReary. When he meets Packie, Packie offers Niko a beer. Niko refuses it, prompting Packie to say, “Good. Because I don’t have one.”
This prompts Niko to throw the quote above, throwing Packie’s stupid joke in his face. He’s not afraid to play around with his loved ones, and it sounds pretty hilarious.
6 “YELLOW CAR!”
Grand Theft Auto IV introduced a new mechanic – one who was completely drunk. Despite, once again, the controversy, the Drunken Mechanic was generally good for a laugh, whether it was Niko tripping and falling into things or yelling hilarious quotes.
The funniest of all may be “YEEEELLLLOOOWW CAAAAR!” – that he often howls when trying to hail a taxi. Drunk Niko is the funniest Niko, and there is something really funny about a taxi called a “yellow car” (even if that’s technically what it is …).
5 “He’s a cool guy.”
Brucie Kibbutz is easily one of the most memorable supporting characters in the Grand Theft Auto series. He is the owner of an auto garage called Brucie’s Executive Lifestyle Autos, but perhaps more importantly, he is an incredibly hyperactive individual fueled by steroids.
Niko measures it in seconds, telling Roman with dripping sarcasm, “He’s a cool guy.” He says what the player was thinking, and his sarcasm turns out to be wonderfully hilarious.
4 “He’s a rat making the impression of a man.”
After meeting Phil Bell, Phil asks Niko if he is a friend of Ray Boccino. Niko replies that Ray is “a rat making the impression of a man”. It’s a bit clever. Phil certainly likes him, which prompted him to reply, “That’s pretty good.”
This is yet another example of a character acknowledging Niko’s clever sense of humor and his creative way with words – almost as if Rockstar and the team of writers recognize Niko’s sense of humor and repeatedly pointed it out to the public. They really wanted the players to like Niko, and they certainly succeeded in that regard.
3 “Your parents were right to hate you.”
All Grand Theft Auto The character has his own jokes when it comes to interacting with pedestrians. Niko is a pretty finicky man, so he always has quick feedback whenever it comes to people knocking him down or honking his horn (okay, horns are always justified).
Perhaps the best and funniest feedback of all is, “Your parents were right to hate you.” It’s so brutal and so cutting it becomes terribly hilarious.
2 “I don’t even have a license!”
The protagonists of Grand Theft Auto are also quite noisy when it comes to driving. Most of them have unique jokes about running over people or crashing into other cars, and Niko has plenty of good ones. But the funniest of all is: “I don’t even have a license!”
It’s the simplicity of the quote that makes it hilarious, almost as if Niko is proud of the fact that he just hit someone.
1 “Damn, this is the wrong car for this fucking shit!”
Acrobatic jumps are an essential part of the Grand Theft Auto series, having been featured in all 3D games in the series. They’re a lot of fun, but they can also be a source of frustration – especially if a jump failed that took a lot of work to put together. After missing a jump, Niko can say: “Damn, this is not the right car for this”.
It’s a funny quote, but it can also serve as a metacomedy, commenting on the inevitable excuses players will make after failing a jump. It’s never the player’s fault – it’s always that damn car …